Thursday, 6 March 2014

Runner Runner

Runner Runner




I was so desperate to run.

We lined up. All I saw was a mob of statues. My face was sweating, my heart was beating like it has never before. I took a glance at my enemies. fixed emotions filled my body I was fixed on the finish line.

On your marks I wanna win get set I will win go we lit off like rockets following with the wind I felt so free flowing past people until Braith shot up behind me I was gonna push the trigger to go faster but its like its broken I couldn't go any faster what's wrong with me I thought I stood on a prickle its like I am in a car with a popped tire and cant go any faster.

Braith pasted me until my trigger started working I was gaining speed I just passed Braith I won by a cats whisker I was so glad. I collected 3 tokens i'm surprised that thats over until Braith said theres another race not again I groaned.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! I like the way you have painted a picture of how you were feeling using figurative language and your senses. Keep up the amazing descriptive writing! I look forward to reading many more of your amazing stories. Love Mum.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow cool story Astin. I liked the simile about the car with the popped tire. Well done.

    ReplyDelete